Soap Box

PSA: Palette

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This is a legacy post that has been given a facelift. Content remains the same with a little added flavor. ;)

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears:

There’s an epidemic, you see. I’ve kept my response contained as best I can, but I’m fighting the urge to go all Katie Holmes-in-The Giver, being a shrieking harpy about

precisionoflanguagePRECISION. OF. LANGUAGE.

But I’m not Jonah’s mom, and we aren’t in some dystopian, baby-murdering (spoilers, not sorry, the book is old) society, and I prefer to teach than scold.

This:

This is a pallet.

is a pallet.

For the sake of argument, here’s a definition.

a portable platform on which goods can be moved, stacked, and stored, especially with the aid of a forklift.

You’ve probably seen one, right? Maybe you’ve (ever) been in a Lowes. Maybe you were at Wal-Mart late at night. Perhaps you, yourself, have worked in a retail outfit and had to stock stuff. The only time this has anything to do with cosmetics is perhaps when Sephora receives a shipment; when there is a pallet of palettes.

Moving on,

This

Naked2 Basics Palette - More than one of these would be palettes, not pallets.

is a palette.

When people say things like, “that’s a really nice pallet,” when talking about, say, Lorac PRO or a Viseart palette, the image that fills my mind silly: it is an expertly crafted, robust shipping platform. Maybe it’s even sanded, stained, and lacquered in gold. I deeply regret being a crappy artist because I would love to illustrate the image that fills my mind like Hyperbole and a Half brought us the Alot…but alas.

Extra Credit (2018)

These items are also not to be confused with palate which refers to the roof of your mouth or to the discerning appreciation of flavors.

Anyway, I digress. This has been a Public Service Announcement. You now have the vocabulary tools to stop being that guy.

Refinery29 on Interview Makeup

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This is a legacy post commenting on Refinery29’s Interview Makeup article. My content has been given a facelift; it has been edited for clarity and ease-of-reading, but is ultimately the same. I winced as I re-read it and the article that inspired it. WTF.

The other day I was reading various beauty-related articles when I came across this one from Refinery29 discussing Skype or other video-call interviews. Seeing the title, I was intrigued – this could be pretty useful to a lot of people these days.

The Players

The Refinery29 article is filled with advice solicited from Michelle Phan, Nic from Pixiwoo/Real Techniques, and Deepica Mutyala; a blogger/vlogger I was unfamiliar with until I read. I’m not a regular Refinery29 reader, but was looking forward to the content.

Knowing Your Interview Audience

It starts off with sound advice from Mutyala – that you should understand who you’ll be interviewing with. Obviously, if you are interviewing in a traditionally very conservative field, like law, you need to keep your makeup understated and very safe. Advancing to the topic of lighting, she makes a point to share that thoughtful lighting is key to a web conference-style interview. It’s no secret that cameras tend to pick things up a little differently than our eyes tend to on our own – webcams, especially ones built-in to your laptop’s lid, are certainly no exception. Throw in a less-than-ideal lighting arrangement, and people could use some help presenting themselves professionally – so this is good stuff, so far.

Keep the Focus on You, Not Your Surroundings

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A Bit Shady: OPI Swatches

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Nail polish was my first (beauty) love. Even though my nail polish wardrobe is smaller these days I’m lame, I still feel a rush of completely ridiculous excitement when I spot a majestic shade. (Zoya Dream, can you stop haunting me? Thanks.) OPI makes my longest-loved (still manufactured) shade, I’m Not Really a Waitress. I don’t really wear it year-round anymore, but it is pretty much the only thing on my nails from Thanksgiving through Christmas. It makes guest appearances throughout the year as the mood strikes. It was on one such mission to plan repurchase and admire swatches of this polish that I noticed that OPI swatches are inaccurate, computer-generated garbage.

OPI Swatches aren’t Swatches

Not in that they’re low-quality, shoddy lighting, on ugly nails. No – OPI swatches are flat-out digitally whipped up lies. Not retouched, nay; a fabrication in their entirety.

My beloved, beautifully swatched by Elegantnails.com:

Then, the ridiculous embarrassment provided by OPI themselves:

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Beauty Insider Points CAN Expire but Don’t Panic

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Lighting in Sephora

If you’re a lunatic beauty hobbyist, you’ve probably heard that Sephora has altered its policy regarding Beauty Insider Points. Before, you could hoard them five-ever and spend them on ridiculous 1000+ swag. Now they have a shelf life.

People are losing their shit.

Twitter is aflame with disgruntled point junkies customers who feel that this new policy is an attack on freebies they are entitled to not actually entitled to. Oh for the love of highlighted cats it’s a war on our deluxe minis.

Don’t get me wrong – I love freebies, point perks, and gifts with purchase. I love that marketing strategy – what better a way to get us to buy product than to give us tiny versions to become obsessed with? At the end of the day, it sucks when perks change – but you aren’t owed freebies. And besides that…

Have you Read the Policy Change?

No? Are you freaking out?

  1. Chill.
  2. Read the policy.

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TPDTY: On Sebaceous Filaments & Why You Don’t Need Pore Strips

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This is a post from the Beauty Skeptic archives that has been given a facelift! Content is the same but may have been edited for clarity and flow, as well as some small content updates noted in line.

Pore StripOh look, a pore strip!

Yeah, you’re familiar with them, probably from Biore. Other brands make pore strip products, too, often more expensive for the same (lackluster) result.

But you don’t need them.

Yeah, there are DIY pore strip tutorials online with weird suggestions involving egg whites or Elmer’s Glue. And listen, I can appreciate getting a little mad scientist in my beauty/skincare as much as the next person…

But you don’t need to.

Wash your face, leave it sopping. Dry your hands, open the thing. Slap the pore strip on your nose and smooth it down. Wait until it feels ridiculous, then rip it off.

But you don’t need that.

Here’s the thing – what many of us bought those things or played mad scientist for was because we believed we had a ton of god-awful blackheads on and around our nose, right? Oh god, we have to fix it. We’d peel away the papier-mâché pore strip and marvel in disgust over what we just ripped out of our faces with this pore strip. Right? Don’t lie, if you’ve used this, you have. You’re elated for a day or two because your skin looks a little better…and then things return to normal – and you strip again.

A waste, indeed, of time and money for such fleeting results.

But here’s the thing – in so many cases (I wish I could quote you a percentage) those are not blackheads. They are sebaceous filaments – they occur naturally on everyone, ever, and are not blemishes…and they cannot be, “removed,” not even by a pore strip. Yes, they aren’t the cutest thing in the world, and yes, that is irritating. Proper skincare, however, can make them less obvious.

The Routine

Your skincare routine should consist of (at minimum), daily cleansing, exfoliating as often as your skin wants/needs it (some people like a daily gentle exfoliant, some of us like to break out the big guns 2-3 times per week), and moisturizing. You can get more detailed than this if you wish (I like to!) but it isn’t a dire necessity. (Bonus points if you use a face brush like an Olay Pro-X or Clarisonic!)

In terms of cleansers, I like something basic and simple. (2017) CeraVe Foaming (2014) Cetaphil Gentle is my favorite. As far as exfoliants go…in terms of what is best for your skin, a chemical exfoliant is technically best and I have (2017) this AHA gel from Alpha Skin (formerly Alpha Hydrox) (2014) this one from Alpha Hydrox .

That said, I also commit “skincare sins,” and indulge in physical ones (theoretically the gritty nature of these can cause tiny cuts in your skin. I haven’t had problems, personally, but I get it – especially with the St Ives, it can be a bit much if you overdo the pressure) such as this classic from St Ives and my long-time favorite from Burt’s Bees 2017 Update: The only physical exfoliation my face sees these days comes from my Clarisonic or Luna Mini.

Moisturizers are very personalized depending on your needs but I am currently happiest with (2017) Mountain Rose Herbs Argan Oil (2014) Josie Maran 100% Pure Argan Oil Light. Those things help me keep my skin healthy and looking well-cared-for.

The Bottom Line

Stop wasting your money on pore strip products, your time on playing face-goop-alchemy, and just get back to basics. They’re fun, but they are a gimmick – and a costly one, at that. Chances are if you don’t have other acne issues, you don’t have a nose rife with blackheads…you, like most people, just have some sebaceous filaments which are normal and healthy. Not gross, just kind of odd looking when you actually notice them.