Rant

Nudestix Hand Sanitizer Gel

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It’s been a while since I’ve seen some exceptionally stupid beauty marketing, mostly because I haven’t been looking. During some idle browsing on a lazy Sunday morning, I came across Nudestix Hand Sanitizer Gel. It is a bit odd to see beauty retailers offering so many hand sanitizer products, but that’s the world we live in now. Tons of companies set forth to add hand sanitizers to their complement of products: chemical companies, spirits distilleries, beauty brands. Lo and behold, you can buy all manner of hand sanitizers at Sephora and Ulta now.

TL;DR Your Marketing is Bad

Sephora partnered with Nudestix to add this ethanol-based hand sanitizer, priced $10 for 16.9 fl oz, to their shelves. The listing says:

In partnership with proud Canadian company, Nudestix, Sephora Canada launched this good-for-skin antibacterial gel specifically for the global COVID-19 crisis. Unlike alcohol-based gels, the Nudestix ethanol-based gel hydrates and protects hands while banishing harmful bacteria.

You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me

K, few things. We’ll key in on the biggest chunk of stupidity right off the bat. I cannot believe I have to point this out, but ethanol is an alcohol. In fact, assuming you are not a chemist, it is the form of alcohol you are most familiar with. It is the type of alcohol that beverages contain. It is an alternative fuel. It has antiseptic properties, hence why it is used in hand sanitizers.

CoVid-19 Isn’t a F***ing Bacteria

Secondly, while properly formulated and used hand sanitizers are antibacterial in nature, their marketing focuses too much on this right now. CoVid-19 is not bacterial, it is viral. A high enough concentration of alcohol can kill it. That should be how Nudestix Hand Sanitizer Gel is positioned right now. Instead, the listing mentions that the product was prompted by CoVid and goes on to spout about it being antibacterial.

The Bottom Line

You won’t find a link to Nudestix Hand Sanitizer Gel in this post because I don’t want to encourage/support bad behavior. I frankly find it off-putting – if we have cosmetic companies producing product without the basic understanding that ethanol is an alcohol, how can we trust that their cosmetic formulations have safety and efficacy in mind? It makes me think of Sensationail’s claims about their gel nail cleanser (psst, you don’t need it).

I don’t know if this listing is the fault of some product marketing genius with Sephora or with Nudestix. I don’t know if they genuinely don’t know any better, or if they’re a little too at-ease with assuming their consumers are idiots. I’d sincerely hope at least somewhere in either org there is someone with enough basic chemistry know-how to discourage this sort of thing. Instead, if you want to buy hand sanitizer from a beauty brand, might I suggest Cinema Secrets with a 70% concentration?

Off Topic: Period Care is Covered by FSA

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A silver lining of this lousy year is that now, period care is covered by FSA I’ve shared before that FSA funds can be used to buy sunscreen. That is great, and I highly recommend doing so if at the end of the year you find yourself with an excess of FSA funds (and don’t need healthcare, spare glasses, etc). But this isn’t about sun safety.

Period Care is Covered by FSA (FINALLY)

This is about how finally, in 2020, prompted by the CoVid-19, Congress decided that, “oh hey, maybe menstrual care products are healthcare products and should be eligible for purchase with FSA funds,” via the CARES act.

Not Amused

Can we talk for a moment about how we could have purchased any number of ridiculous, frivolous, bullshit products with an FSA? We could buy a $25 lip gloss because it had some SPF in it, but we couldn’t buy some damn tampons with those same funds. This is on top of the absurdity that hygiene products like these are frequently taxed at a different rate (a quite literal pink tax, rather than the markup variety) than other hygiene and personal care necessities because some morons seem to think that’s a great idea.

Maybe some of them aren’t complete bullshit, like light therapy for acne. But why could we spend $200 in pre-tax dollars on some splurgey skincare gadget with questionable efficacy before we could spend those dollars on basic, routine hygiene that so damn important to our ongoing health. No one wants blemishes, but I dare-fucking-say that one is slightly higher priority in terms of, “shit we need,” than the other.

The Bottom Line

I’m happy that period care is covered by FSA funds now, but I’m simultaneously irritated as hell that it took so long, and took a global health crisis that not only threatened lives and safety but incomes and livelihoods, for tampons to be considered slightly less of a luxury.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

COOLA Organic Suncare

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This is a legacy post that has been given a facelift for clarity and readability. Opinions are the same; in fact, I laughed as I re-read it because I wouldn’t change a thing aside from adding headers. Enjoy!

Sometimes, I don’t even have to look for ridiculous marketing.
Sometimes, it walks right into my inbox.

Email from Ulta advertising some new, shiny products includes this:

COOLA Organic Setting SprayUlta e-mail ad for COOLA Organic Makeup Setting Spray

Oh, setting spray! Good. Even better, it has SPF. Wait. Organic? Organic setting spray?

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Bi-Weekly WTF :: Vol 1 – Asbestos in Makeup from Claire’s (& Justice!)

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Ah, Claire’s. Purveyors of the overpriced cute du jour, loved by many 90s (and today’s, I suppose) girls. Probably loathed by parents who thought their pricing was insane. I got my ears pierced at Claire’s (I don’t recommend this, more on why at another time) around my fifth birthday, and most of my earrings for just over a decade after came from them. As a kid, I was a fan as were many of my friends and peers growing up.

Quality

No one who has purchased Claire’s wares will hold any illusions that they sell quality product. It isn’t meant to be quality; it is meant to be cute and satisfy the fleeting whims of children. We obviously aren’t buying Tarte products. Hell, we aren’t even buying NYX – but for the prices Claire’s wants, you might as well go buy NYX and get safer (and higher quality) product.

So while we can’t expect Claire’s to carry high quality, durable products, we ought to be able to expect safe ones – especially since their entire target demographic is children. Evidently, however, we can’t.

Recall due to Asbestos in Makeup from Claire’s

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A Bit Shady: OPI Swatches

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Nail polish was my first (beauty) love. Even though my nail polish wardrobe is smaller these days I’m lame, I still feel a rush of completely ridiculous excitement when I spot a majestic shade. (Zoya Dream, can you stop haunting me? Thanks.) OPI makes my longest-loved (still manufactured) shade, I’m Not Really a Waitress. I don’t really wear it year-round anymore, but it is pretty much the only thing on my nails from Thanksgiving through Christmas. It makes guest appearances throughout the year as the mood strikes. It was on one such mission to plan repurchase and admire swatches of this polish that I noticed that OPI swatches are inaccurate, computer-generated garbage.

OPI Swatches aren’t Swatches

Not in that they’re low-quality, shoddy lighting, on ugly nails. No – OPI swatches are flat-out digitally whipped up lies. Not retouched, nay; a fabrication in their entirety.

My beloved, beautifully swatched by Elegantnails.com:

Then, the ridiculous embarrassment provided by OPI themselves:

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Steam of Consciousness & Chatter

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Earlier this week, I received a digital copy of my ClinCheck treatment review. I’m beyond excited about it, and even though I’m fairly self-conscious about my teeth, I shared it on Instagram. How millennial of me.

A post shared by Beauty Skeptic (@beautyskeptic) on



Each stage is a new tray!

Tomorrow, I have an extraction. Tuesday, I get my first Invisalign aligner trays. To celebrate that, let’s take a brief break from my usual, structured content.

Every now and then we all have a thought we want to share for the amusement of others or to get their opinions. I tend to experience them in bursts, but since my husband obviously has no interest in beauty-related-anything, I don’t commonly have an outlet. Sometimes I take to Twitter when it occurs to me, but I’m just not engaging enough on Twitter, ha.

In no particular order…

Ever apply a self-tanner with a color guide or instant bronzing effect and wonder, “Who the hell did they met that this shade would be flattering on, ever?”

Seriously. It wasn’t orange, it wasn’t bronze, it wasn’t brown – it was the least-possibly-flattering mix of all three with just a touch of green thrown in. I am pretty sure humans just don’t come in this color. Prodigious.

I was applying a gradual sunless tanner that also had an instant effect and this occurred to me while I was smearing it unattractively all over my face. My husband looked on in horror. “Don’t worry, it comes off,” I explained. Horror turned to confusion. “…it stimulates melanin production, so what you see now is basically just dye.”

Afterwards, the natural coloring that develops is pretty nice. But maybe don’t go out in public with Tanwise Self-Tanning Face Gel on your face.

I really enjoy having painted nails. After executing a manicure, I sat there, supplies before me, pouting. Why? Because it was 8:30PM and I just spent 20 minutes and still had about hour to go if I wanted flawless polish. The world is cruel.

You know who didn’t have to wait for painted nails?

Sailor Moon.

I called it a night, finished drafting posts and went to bed with naked nails.

#moonprismpower

…But like why invest in product development and R&D when you can throw lavish influencer party-vacations with luxury presents that aren’t even affiliated with the brand? Or, remarkably, invest in ways to slightly lower cost (and price to boost popularity WITHOUT sacrificing handsome profit margins)?

Just sayin’.

#exclusivityiskey

A girlfriend of mine with badass hair tried Overtone conditioner to help revive her hair since she got screwed over for her next color appointment. The regular conditioner made her color-treated hair soft and punched a little more life into it after one use. She expects that the Weekly Deep Treatment will do more for her, though.

This first picture is her fresh from the salon…

 

…and this second one is eight weeks later with Overtone. It’s no secret how difficult it is to maintain red, so these are great results!

My silver-haired girlfriend (yes, she’s still rocking the silver!) will be pleased to know that 1) it works and 2) it is both cruelty-free and vegan.

As for me, I’m shocked and entertained that it isn’t only intended for maintenance. Their photos suggest that you can color with it, check it out:

I’m not up for Exciting Hair at this point in my life (in fact, I have another balayage appointment soon – I’m such an exciting human) but I really enjoy watching the transformations. Out of curiosity, I’m going to look into real-life attempts; I think it would be interesting to see if it can live up to its claims.

Here’s to an undoubtedly lame weekend with gauze in my mouth and the first uncomfortable step to a straighter smile. I will be changing gauze, eating applesauce and mashed potatoes, pouting, taking ibuprofen, folding laundry, and writing this weekend – what are your plans?