Saturday Extra: WTF

Saturday Extra!

I’m at home with a mouth full of gauze, browsing the internet because I can’t take a nap. The offending tooth 26 has been evicted from my mouth. Due to my crowding, the gap isn’t that bad. The worst of it is the saliva accumulation with the gauze. Ugh.

Anyway, I come across things online that are not beauty things that give me cause to ask, “WTF?” This tweet from Sephora was in March – I took a screenshot and filed it for one-such post.

 

Saturday Extra - WTF SephoraFashion is adjacent to beauty I guess, so here are a few:

I don’t think this is still available for sale on Nordstrom’s site (thank god). Do you ever think that designers sit down, intentionally draw and produce something god-awful just to laugh even harder when some buffoon buys it? I do. This trench coat is proof.

WHBM…why?! Camo. Capri (read: flattering on no-one). Elastic openings. externally-stitched pockets. Paired with, no less, an off-shoulder, ruffle-sleeve blouse and open heel, open toe sandal-bootie monstrosities. Whiskey tango foxtrot. What on earth were you guys thinking?

Steam of Consciousness & Chatter

Earlier this week, I received a digital copy of my ClinCheck treatment review. I’m beyond excited about it, and even though I’m fairly self-conscious about my teeth, I shared it on Instagram. How millennial of me.

A post shared by Beauty Skeptic (@beautyskeptic) on



Each stage is a new tray!

Tomorrow, I have an extraction. Tuesday, I get my first Invisalign aligner trays. To celebrate that, let’s take a brief break from my usual, structured content.

Every now and then we all have a thought we want to share for the amusement of others or to get their opinions. I tend to experience them in bursts, but since my husband obviously has no interest in beauty-related-anything, I don’t commonly have an outlet. Sometimes I take to Twitter when it occurs to me, but I’m just not engaging enough on Twitter, ha.

In no particular order…


Ever apply a self-tanner with a color guide or instant bronzing effect and wonder, “Who the hell did they met that this shade would be flattering on, ever?”

Seriously. It wasn’t orange, it wasn’t bronze, it wasn’t brown – it was the least-possibly-flattering mix of all three with just a touch of green thrown in. I am pretty sure humans just don’t come in this color. Prodigious.

I was applying a gradual sunless tanner that also had an instant effect and this occurred to me while I was smearing it unattractively all over my face. My husband looked on in horror. “Don’t worry, it comes off,” I explained. Horror turned to confusion. “…it stimulates melanin production, so what you see now is basically just dye.”

Afterwards, the natural coloring that develops is pretty nice. But maybe don’t go out in public with Tanwise Self-Tanning Face Gel on your face.


I really enjoy having painted nails. After executing a manicure, I sat there, supplies before me, pouting. Why? Because it was 8:30PM and I just spent 20 minutes and still had about hour to go if I wanted flawless polish. The world is cruel.

You know who didn’t have to wait for painted nails?

Sailor Moon.

I called it a night, finished drafting posts and went to bed with naked nails.

#moonprismpower


…But like why invest in product development and R&D when you can throw lavish influencer party-vacations with luxury presents that aren’t even affiliated with the brand? Or, remarkably, invest in ways to slightly lower cost (and price to boost popularity WITHOUT sacrificing handsome profit margins)?

Just sayin’.

#exclusivityiskey


A girlfriend of mine with badass hair tried Overtone conditioner to help revive her hair since she got screwed over for her next color appointment. The regular conditioner made her color-treated hair soft and punched a little more life into it after one use. She expects that the Weekly Deep Treatment will do more for her, though.

This first picture is her fresh from the salon…

 

…and this second one is eight weeks later with Overtone. It’s no secret how difficult it is to maintain red, so these are great results!

My silver-haired girlfriend (yes, she’s still rocking the silver!) will be pleased to know that 1) it works and 2) it is both cruelty-free and vegan.

As for me, I’m shocked and entertained that it isn’t only intended for maintenance. Their photos suggest that you can color with it, check it out:

I’m not up for Exciting Hair at this point in my life (in fact, I have another balayage appointment soon – I’m such an exciting human) but I really enjoy watching the transformations. Out of curiosity, I’m going to look into real-life attempts; I think it would be interesting to see if it can live up to its claims.


Here’s to an undoubtedly lame weekend with gauze in my mouth and the first uncomfortable step to a straighter smile. I will be changing gauze, eating applesauce and mashed potatoes, pouting, taking ibuprofen, folding laundry, and writing this weekend – what are your plans?

Beauty Insider Points CAN Expire but Don’t Panic

Lighting in Sephora

If you’re a lunatic beauty hobbyist, you’ve probably heard that Sephora has altered its policy regarding Beauty Insider Points. Before, you could hoard them five-ever and spend them on ridiculous 1000+ swag. Now they have a shelf life.

People are losing their shit.

Twitter is aflame with disgruntled point junkies customers who feel that this new policy is an attack on freebies they are entitled to not actually entitled to. Oh for the love of highlighted cats it’s a war on our deluxe minis.

Don’t get me wrong – I love freebies, point perks, and gifts with purchase. I love that marketing strategy – what better a way to get us to buy product than to give us tiny versions to become obsessed with? At the end of the day, it sucks when perks change – but you aren’t owed freebies. And besides that…

Have you Read the Policy Change?

No? Are you freaking out?

  1. Chill.
  2. Read the policy.

The new terms, in spite of what less-scrupulous outlets would report via clickbait headlines or suggest via lazy content publishing, isn’t giving each point you earn an 18 month shelf life.

The Beauty Insider Points Policy Update

According to Sephora, your points will only expire if you have been inactive for 18 months. That means that, for eighteen months, you will have made ZERO purchase and ZERO point redemptions.

No, really. This excerpt is from the Beauty Insider Terms and Conditions page, section 3:

3. Point Expiration

It’s our hope that you redeem your points on a regular basis. All unredeemed points shall expire when a program member has not engaged in point activity associated with that membership account (through purchase or redemption) for 18 months or more. If you have questions regarding the date of your last point activity or your last purchase, you may call 1-877-SEPHORA (1-877-737-4672) for more information.

In addition, points will automatically expire if your Membership is revoked or otherwise cancelled for reasons further detailed in Section 17.

Reality Check

Those of you who are frantic or pissed about this policy change, be honest with yourself – are you really going to go a year and a half without buying something from Sephora (or redeeming points)?

Just sayin’.

Tan Talk: Ocean Potion Everglow Gradual Sunless Tanner

Ocean Potion Everglow - Front of Bottle

Ocean Potion Everglow, under $5

Ocean Potion Everglow had been on my sunless tanning radar for years. It had, in fact, occupied a space on my drugstore.com list for quite some time (before drugstore.com became defunct; RIP). Somehow, though, I always found something more interesting to try that stepped in line ahead of it. It wasn’t until after drugstore.com shuttered, however, that I decided to pick it up from my local Wal-Mart earlier this year.

Color

Because Ocean Potion Everglow does not deposit color and uses DHA to stimulate melanin production, this isn’t an instant gratification product. Unlike other self-tanners that are DHA-only, too, this is, like the title suggests, a gradual sunless tanner. You don’t apply and have noticeable color in 6-8 hours. You will develop subtle color after a few days. For me, it took about 4-5 days of daily use to notice a difference. When I did, I found the difference to be good – my tan looked natural. Not orange, not streaky.

Application

Since this is a gradual tanner, I skip the tanning mitt when I apply. After using my normal body lotion as a barrier on my feet, knees, and elbows, I apply it like any other lotion. After application, I wash my hands thoroughly – and that’s about it. A slow-to-develop product like this requires less precision and attention to application detail. I never noticed any awkward streaks or splotches.

Read more…

Nail Care Routine

Cuticle Oil - Nail Care Routine

Although I have pared down my collection of colors and don’t have polish on as much as I used to, my nail care routine is still an essential part of keeping myself feeling human as opposed to some cave-dwelling fiend.

In Shape

Every week or two, I kick my nail care routine off by trimming and shaping my nails. I’m still using the clippers from the kit I shared in January 2015 and these super-inexpensive files from Sally Beauty that I shared this past February. They’re great! I taper the sides and round the edges ever so slightly.

You see all these super squared-off manicures constantly that look nice, but I’m like, “How are they not stabbing everything with the corners of their nails!?” Looks nice, but just like a two inch nail enhancement – not practical.

Care for your Cuticles

Don’t skip cuticle care in your nail care routine! You could have an amazing polish job, but ragged, dry cuticles will bring it down a few notches. Conversely, polish-free nails still look great when they’re shaped and have their cuticles cared-for.

For cuticle care, I slap on Sally Hansen Apricot Cream (shared January 2017) throughout the day. Once per week, I use a Sally Hansen gel to facilitate the removal of dead tissue where my eponychium meets my nail plate. An orangewood stick does just fine, but I like cuticle stones, these plastic pushers (I bought just one at Sally’s), or one of the heavy-duty stainless steel implements salons use. I hate using cuticle nippers for this; they tend to cause more problems than they solve. I do use them, however, to treat annoying hangnails.

Slap a hydrating cuticle treatment on afterwards. I use either the cream I mentioned above or Essie Apricot Oil. At this point, I’m not sure if I would repurchase the Essie product. I don’t dislike it but there are probably more cost-effective solutions out there.

Polish and Beyond

If polishing, I’ll use acetone or alcohol to clean up and slightly dehydrate my nails to prep for polish. After I polish (regardless of method), I apply cuticle oil (yes, again!) and enjoy the fruits of my labor.

If I’m skipping polish, I finish my nail care routine by giving my nails a good scrub with hand soap, then reapplying cuticle oil. In case it is relevant, my soap dispenser is currently filled with SimpleHuman Spring Water – I like it, but will probably just go back to Method; even though I bought it cheaper than Amazon has it for, Method is still cheaper and works just fine!

Nail Care Routine Maintenance

Usually, I can go two weeks before needing to trim and redo my cuticle work. In the meantime, I keep my cuticles from spontaneously bleeding all over my keyboard (yes, it really happened) by applying my cuticle cream at least once a day. I don’t use a crazy-fancy hand lotion, either; Skinfix (shared August 2016) is unscented and awesome.

If I break a nail, I file it smooth lest I lose my mind. Otherwise, I mostly let them be and enjoy a tidy manicure. If I lose my mind and get a shoddy manicure in a salon, however, I usually need to pay extra attention to my hands for the month after (aka defeating the purpose of a salon manicure). Boo.

What does your nail care routine look like?