Nyx April Fools

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So at some point on an April 1 many moons ago, the internet collectively decided that they would bring April Fools to the cyber realm and play silly jokes. Peddler of geeky wares, ThinkGeek, usually has some hilarious joke products (that actually became real after interest was expressed). Google tends to do some silly things, including the Google Maps Pokemon stuff that is going on.

Why bring it up? I’m not trolling you, after all.

Nyx Cosmetics, however, is.

The Mirage Palette, pictured below, purportedly is:

  • Waterproof
  • Smudge proof
  • Long lasting (basically lasts forever)
  • Adapts to any skin tone
  • Perfect for any age
  • Contains 20 shadows and blushers, as well as 10 vibrant lip colors.
  • Coverage is lightweight and so sheer, it’s like it’s not even there.
  • Never cakes or fades
  • Never smears or stains

Ohhh, the inside:

Really? Yes, I’m being a bit, “Bah Humbug,” here, but if you’re going to troll, at least be clever or inventive…or, on the other hand, be so outlandishly ridiculous that we can’t bear but chuckle! Cheers, hope you haven’t been embarrassed today.

Milani Eye Tech Extreme Liquid Eye Liner

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Milani Eye Tech Extreme

When I heard Milani Eye Tech Extreme may be a reasonable dupe for Stila Stay All Day Liquid Liner, I had to look into it. Glorious as the felt-tip liner from Stila is, it is about $20 for a full size at regular price, which makes me kind of sad. This product, however, is only about $7-8.

Featuring a fine felt tip, the Milani Easy Tech Extreme liquid liner is structured very similarly to the Stay all Day and should be able to product similar results. According to Milani’s Site:

Non-feathering, waterproof blackest black formula lasts all day without flaking our budging.

I tested it out to see how well it met that claim. Here are the pictures, taken and laid out similarly to the Stila test.

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Noxzema Triple Clean Anti-Bacterial Lathering Cleanser

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Noxzema Triple Clean Anti-Bacterial Lathering Cleanser

Noxzema Triple Clean Anti-Bacterial Lathering Cleanser

 

Normally, my skin is relatively cooperative. I break out once a month or so, small, just whiteheads. Lately, I’ve taken on a bit more stress than normal between wedding planning and some extra projects at work, and my skin is paying the price. Using a ton of salicylic acid (a common ingredient in acne treatment products) causes my skin to freak out, so I reached for this Noxzema Triple Clean Anti-Bacterial Lathering Cleanser. I use it on days upon which my skin feels like being sassy or on days where I feel like I just need to start fresh, about 2x monthly.

This cleanser contains the antibacterial agent Triclosan – that doesn’t bother me personally, but it is important to know what you’re slapping on your face. The cleanser itself squeezes from the tube as a thick cream that applies smoothly and produces an indulgent lather (I usually use Cetaphil Gentle, which does not lather). My skin feels very clean afterwards.

Being an antibacterial facial soap, Noxzema Triple Clean Anti-Bacterial Lathering Cleanser is relatively drying. Moisturize thoroughly with a non-comedogenic (which you should be using anyway) moisturizer. I’m still using my Josie Maran Argan Oil, but CeraVe makes a nice one, too. If I have a really stubborn blemish like I do right now, I dab a bit of a benzoyl peroxide spot treatment to it before moisturizing.

Though I highly recommend this product, I also caution against using it as a daily cleanser – it is far too drying for that. Even those with oily skin should not use it daily as you run the risk of oil over-production to compensate. Noxzema Triple Clean Anti-Bacterial Lathering Cleanser available for $5-7 in all the usual places, including Amazon.

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links – this means I may get a very small percentage of the sale if you decide to buy something. I’ll only tell you that something is awesome if I have verified it myself!

Maybelline Shocking Coral

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Is, simply put, a lie. I wanted a coral because I did not own one. Maybelline Color Sensational Vivids came out with one, the I-wish-it-was-aptly-named-Shocking Coral.

Really quick – according to Wikipedia, the following are various coral colors. The latter two are what most of us think of:

corals

If we define it ourselves, most of us will say it is a light, orange-toned pink. Woo, sounds pretty! So I bought it a while ago to try because I am guilty of owning mostly MLBBs and reds.

Here’s the bottom. I’ve seen Shocking Coral as both 910 and 870; I got 870 – I’m not sure if there’s a difference, or if it is regional, or what have you:

870

Hmm. That doesn’t look too coral, but maybe it is just the sticker. Stickers have been known to mislead, after all, and that’s why we like swatches.

I’ll swatch it!

Maybelline Color Sensational Vivids Shocking Coral swatch

Granted, please note that this was taken indoors with flash – but this is absolutely, positively not a coral lipstick. It is more fuschia-y both in the tube, swatched, and on my lips than anything. It isn’t that the color itself is bad; it isn’t. But it is not coral. Maybe that is what is so shocking about it – it isn’t coral! This is what caused my to learn my lesson and to find swatches first unless I was in the fortuitous position of being an early adopter (and therefore provider of said swatches).

Otherwise, the formula is nice and I would recommend the Maybelline Color Sensational Vivids line (Electric Orange is fun) – but don’t get this one if you actually want a bright, vibrant coral because this is not it. You can find them anywhere that has Maybelline, including Amazon, for between $5-7.

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links – this means I may get a very small percentage of the sale if you decide to buy something. I’ll only tell you that something is awesome if I have verified it myself!

Target – This Looks Shopped

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It is widely known that advertisers retouch their photos before publishing them, especially in the clothing industry. This isn’t to talk about whether or not I agree with that practice, but instead to suggest that they either a) hire qualified graphic designers/retouchers or b) beef up their proofing process before publishing photos:

Target - this looks shopped, wouldn't you say?

Hrm… this looks shopped!

Golly gee, something doesn’t look quite right here. Are you SUUUURE that’s a normal model right there? Call me a skeptic. It seems as though Target is batting 1000 lately between not having beefy enough protections in place to protect customers’ credit card information, and now, bad awkward Photoshop work.

A lot of people and news outlets are up in arms about the whole thigh gap thing – and while I definitely do think it is stupid and not realistic (also, not to be crude but having an unnatural crevasse separating one side of your body from the other looks, well, unnatural) but that’s not what I’m fired up about. I am, however, utterly baffled by how ridiculous this is. If there is a proofing or double-checking process, clearly it was missed – and if there isn’t, they desperately need one. Oh yeah let’s just lift the center of the model’s crotch up a good inch or two. That doesn’t look absolutely ridiculous at all. One other thing is that people commenting on this ‘shop fail seem to be disregarding how silly the model’s hand looks – look at the left side of the image. Oops.

The product, which used to live here, has since been taken down. Hopefully they’ll reshoot or upload an image that wasn’t butchered. Damn it guys, cut it out and get a better graphics team if you must retouch your photos because this flavor of marketing is just embarrassing. This doesn’t even just look shopped, it looks like it was done with mspaint.exe. This doesn’t fool anyone, and isn’t even aesthetically pleasing from a narrow-minded Barbie-esque view of beauty.

Biore Self Heating One Minute Mask Kit & Review

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I love when companies revive products that they killed years ago, and the Self Heating One Minute Mask from Biore is no exception. I used the original years and years ago and it disappeared from the market circa 2010. Recently relaunched as part of their Charcoal / Don’t Be Dirty line, the Biore Self Heating One Minute Mask looks like this:

The new variety contains four foil packets (though oddly spelled, “packette,”) for $7-8 and is available at drugstores, mass merchants, and drugstore.com. Back in the day (at least circa 2007), it looked like this:

Biore Self Heating One Minute Mask - old retail

The mask came with eight single-use blister-packs and retailed for roughly $7 (a better value than today!). You were instructed to wash your face, leave it wet, open a blister pack and smear the contents onto your face. Once it made contact with the water, a chemical reaction would occur and warm your face. After a minute or so, it would turn blue to show you when to rinse.

I actually received a sampler kit of the Self Heating One Minute Mask courtesy of Biore’s Prove it Rewards program on Facebook. They had a temporary offering where you could redeem a ludicrously low amount of points to get it, so I jumped on it. A couple weeks later, this arrived:

Biore Self Heating One Minute Mask - kit packaging

Let’s crack ‘er open!

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