TAG: My Husband Explains Makeup

My Husband Explains Makeup

Every now and then I’ll come across a fun tag (read: NOT 100 Layers of… whatever) and want to join the fun. I first came across it on Minimalist Makeup and thought it could be a bit fun.

I’m grabbing a bit from here and there and adding my own questions.

My Husband Explains Makeup

“Can you name five makeup brands?”

  • Urban Decay – you like them and have a lot of their stuff.
  • Next, NARS – they have weird product names.
  • Maybelline
  • MAC
  • The independent one…you know, you watched a video about it. She was on YouTube then made her own company, uh… MakeupGeek!

“Give me a shady product name from NARS. Bonus points if you name more than one.”

“Orgasm. Orgasm…some more? (Super Orgasm) There’s another shady one but I can’t remember.”

“What is BB Cream?”

“Well it can’t be made with little projectile pellets…so I’m going to say a cleanser or exfoliant with those little scrubby beads?”

I hold up a tube of Gimme Brow by benefit and ask, “What is this?”

“I think color for here,” he says, poking my eyebrow.

“Tell me about Bronzer.”

“OOH. I know this. It makes you bronze.”

“You’re not wrong. What about Contouring?”

“The thing with the line,” as he gestures just below his cheekbone, “to make your face shape appear different using shadows. It’s an art thing, really, not just a makeup one.”

“…and why is it different from Bronzer?”

“Bronzer makes you shiny, obviously.” Obviously.

“Okay, and what about Highlighter? And don’t think about the 100 Layers Jenna Marbles video.”

“It’s for emphasizing things. It goes opposite of where contour does. It makes points that light hits more noticeable.”

“Where would I put it?”

He shrugged.

“Do you know what tightlining is?”

He gave me a deer-in-headlights stare.

Holding up an F80, “What is this?”

“OH, that’s the flat-top buffer brush you were saying you needed to replace earlier.” True – I used the words, “Flat-top buffer,” and earlier he said, “Whatever that is.” I told him it was a foundation brush, but that’s it.

“True, it is.” Holding a beautyblender, “How do I use this?”

“Well that depends, if it’s the smaller one you use it here,” pointing to the under eye area. Continuing, “…and the bigger one is for your whole face but basically you put goop on your face and roll that around.” I do not, and have not ever owned the beautyblender micro mini.

“Is that it? I don’t own a smaller one.”

“You do! And you didn’t like it.”

“Oh, the weird one from that set. Yeah, I’m pretty sure that was defective, though. I didn’t like it. These are sponges though, they change size when you…”

“Get them wet, duh. You do that first.”

The Bottom Line

All things considered, he did fairly well. I only stumped him with two questions. The other wrong answers were either only slightly off OR a decent guess based on inferences (like BB Cream). Thanks to my husband for being a good sport and participating in these shenanigans.

I encourage you to ask these questions of someone in your life who doesn’t know about makeup. You don’t have to share them on the internet as us bloggers are doing, but you might get a good chuckle out of it.

And now, I leave you with an anecdote. A couple months ago, over lunch, a coworker told our group that his wife, “got her eyebrows flossed.”


Another confused teammate was baffled and didn’t understand, so I translated through laughter.” It’s an alternative to waxing.” “Is it better?” he asked.