Bi-Weekly WTF :: Vol 14 – Azature Diamond Nail Polish

Diamond Nail Polish from Azature

 

If you’re new here, my hobbies include talking smack on unnecessarily expensive nail polish. I get (perhaps irrationally) angry when I see ludicrously expensive I came across another one yesterday, and to my surprise it was not yet another offering from repeat offender Louboutin!

Instead, this diamond nail polish from Azature more than takes the metaphorical and, hell, for that price, literal cake.

So Damn Foolish

Clocking in at a whopping $230,000, Azature’s Black Diamond polish was made as a single batch limited edition – and the formula was made with 267 carats of black diamond.

Why?

Aside from the, “I have so much money that I may as well shred it,” demographic…I don’t get it! Why even make diamond nail polish? It doesn’t enhance the color or hardness/strength-enhancing properties of the formula. It is nothing but brag fodder – but it isn’t impressive to drop a house’s worth of money on a damn bottle of nail polish.

Shockingly, there are no reviews to speak of.

The Bottom Line

There’s nothing this can do to be worth it. Not even my usual uncouth jokes that I refrain from on here would make it worth it! I realize that products like this aren’t targeted at us plebeians but it just seems ridiculous and ostentatious to do in the first place.

Don’t wish to take out a mortgage on nail polish – hey, me too! If the novelty of diamond in the polish excites you, they have less-ambitious formulas at $25 (pictured).

What ridiculous stuff have you seen this week?

Products I Stopped Using (2018)

Over the years, as I’ve learned about my skin and honed my beauty preferences, I’ve tried many products. Some worked, some didn’t; some did at one point and then my needs/wants changed.

Face Scrubs

Ages ago, I used a certain walnut-shell-containing, apricot-scented facial exfoliant from a popular drugstore brand. I loved it! Bottom line, though, is those shell fragments can be sharp – and there are more effective ways to exfoliate. These days, my physical exfoliation comes from my Clarisonic and Silkin ReVit. Chemically, I use this AHA gel from Alpha Skin and the occasional BHA Stridex pad.

After a troublesome period with my skin, it is looking the best it has in quite a while save for some stubborn pores on my chin that, frankly, aren’t too visible anyway.

Foundation

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Unpopular Opinion: Liquid Lipstick

This legacy post has been given a facelift. Opinions remain the same but content has been edited for flow and clarity.

I can’t quite pinpoint where the madness took hold. Liquid lipstick isn’t really a new product or idea; nay, Stila has offered their Stay All Day Liquid Lipsticks for several dozen moons. At some point within the last two years, though, liquid lipstick exploded. Most companies offer them now, and those that already had them expanded their lines, and companies who weren’t really on the lip game (like Anastasia), got involved.

And ultimately, I don’t get the obsession.

Needy

Let’s face it – although the point is that they shouldn’t be high maintenance, they are.

  • They require meticulous lip prep; scrubbing to exfoliate is not ever optional when you’re rocking these.
  • You need to moisturize before application…but not too much, or the product won’t properly adhere to your lips!
  • To put the icing on the cake, they tend to be drying as all hell to the lips…and then settle awkwardly in your lip-lines.
  • It’ll last a looong time, but if you ever feel like you need to reapply? More often than not, you’re better off removing it entirely and starting from square one.

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Esqido Lashes – A Lash Named Desire

First things first: I received a free pair of lashes courtesy of Esqido for the purpose of a review and a before-and-after photo. Otherwise, I did not receive any compensation or incentive to write this content, and as always, all opinions are my own.


I’ve only worn false lashes once, ever. This time-ish last year, in fact. That’s right – I didn’t even bother for my wedding. I don’t have anything against lashes; they just don’t fit into my day-to-day, and my life isn’t rife with special occasions, either. As a result, I haven’t tried many – so when Esqido reached out, I figured, “What the hell, let’s do it!”

I had the opportunity to select my pair of lashes. I decided to go with a medium volume pair and ultimately landed on Lash Named Desire:

Esqido Lashes - A Lash Named DesireEsqido Lashes – Lash Named Desire, $29

Along with it, they sent a tube of their lash glue:

Esqido Lashes - Lash GlueEsqido Companion Lash Glue, $10

First Impressions

Esqido Lashes come in a pretty damn nice magnetic-closure box. I popped that open and gingerly retrieved the lashes to see how they compare to my actual eye. Given my limited experience, I had never worked with mink lashes before and was surprised how soft they were. I’ve seen a thousand-and-one YouTubers gush about their luxurious, fluffy mink lashes (from Esqido and other brands), but I assumed they were just putting one on. So, no – they’re surprisingly plush.

Giving ‘Em a Go

“Whoa, this band is huge,” was my first thought upon removing them from their packaging. I’m not sure whose eyes these are made for, but they were drastically longer than my upper lashline. I started by trimming off the innermost section on each lash, then retested; nope. I then trimmed the outer-most section – viola, a passable length.

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Monday Musings: TIFU – Salvaging Botched Eyeshadow

Salvaging Botched eyeshadow - Wet n Wild Walking on Eggshells TrioWet n Wild Walking on Eggshells trio, discontinued

As a lover of sleep, I am often not awake in time to do the whole nine yards in the morning. I frequently cut corners and keep my daily makeup minimal and simple. There’s not a lot of room for error, which is great – because as someone who used to wear winged liner a lot, ain’t nobody got time for salvaging botched eyeshadow and eyeliner because you twitched or sneezed while applying a wing.

Lately, I’ve made a little more time for myself in the morning because starting the day with an application of warpaint can be fun too.

Last week, I got my complexion evened out and went about my eyes with a two-shade application from Walking on Eggshells. I slapped the lid color on my lid fairly generously. Then, with a Sonia Kashuk no. 116 (cheap! versatile! accessible! also loved by Sam), I picked up the crease shade (a bronze-y tone), tapped off the excess, and slapped it where it belonged with sweeping windshield-wiper motions.

…on the right eye, anyway.

End result? Subtle, pretty crease definition that isn’t obvious; you can’t see where the lid shade ends and the crease begins. You can’t see where the crease shade ends and skin begins.

It wasn’t until I applied the left side that I achieved the, “TIFU,” part of the post. I neglected that critical, “tap off the excess,” step. It wasn’t until I set my brush down and LOOKED at myself that I realized I had made a grave mistake. So much, too much, bronze. When you achieve a cut crease without intending to achieve a cut crease – ow. I looked like a child who had gotten into their mom’s makeup bag. Not a great feeling at 5:50AM, let me tell you.

My reaction? Panic! How the hell do I fix this?! I don’t have time to start over! Maaaan…

Breathe.

Fortunately, problem solving is basically how I earn a living. What’s a little facepaint? Here’s how I went about salvaging my botched eyeshadow.

  • First, tissue. Blot off the hyper excess. Better already, but still a bit like a bronze panda.
  • Second, q-tip, micellar water. Dab, dab, dab away the remaining harsh areas and lines of demarcation.
  • Tap with tissue again.
  • With a clean blending brush, blend out any weird bits.
  • With the proper method, reapply a mixture of the lid and crease shades.

Better. Presentable. As far as I could tell, no one noticed. Success!

The Bottom Line

Correcting my mistake took no more than thirty seconds once I calmed down and assessed the situation. Granted, it helps that the crease shade and the lid shade were not worlds away, but still. Don’t panic – unless you have eyeliner or mascara everywhere, you can probably succeed at salvaging botched eyeshadow.

Bi-Weekly WTF :: Vol 11 – Premier Loyalty – Recurring VIBR or Ulta Diamond

For a couple years in a row now, I have managed to achieve both Sephora VIB status as well as Ulta’s Platinum status. I didn’t achieve these reward tiers only through spending on myself, though. In addition to my own personal spending, I:

  • Buy gifts for others
  • Buy blog giveaway items
  • Extend my account perks to friends (VIB sales, Platinum perks) who pay me back

Continuously Achieving Premier Loyalty tiers

I can see how easy it would be to hit the premier loyalty tiers; even though I think the Dyson hair dryer is a bit frivolous, but purchase that and exclusively use prestige product and I’m sure it is as easy as that. I’m struggling, though, to comprehend how individual people are spending enough to maintain the über premier loyalty tiers year after year.

I think it would be easier to achieve at Ulta since Ulta offers more services (Brow Bar, Dermalogica skin services, nails, hair). On top of that, their product range is broader, including drugstore, more  bath/personal care, and hair care.

The Bottom Line

So, in short, I’m curious – if any of you are multi-year VIB Rouge members, what does a year of Sephora purchases look like for you? Is it a lot of Drunk Elephant and Sunday Riley? Fragrance? Every palette that launches? Or are you buying gifts and offering up your perks and making orders on behalf of friends?

Ulta just launched Diamond this year but if you expect to achieve Diamond year-over-year, what will your purchases look like?